The Unwritten Rules of Job Searching
Nobody hands you the rulebook.
Job searching runs on rules nobody writes down. Who to message. What to say when they ask about salary. When to walk away from an offer. Here they are, in the order you'll need them, with tools you can use tonight.
Rule zero · A true story
Your first offer out of college. You loved the company and made it through every round. You know it's well below market. They won't negotiate.
He turned it down. A few weeks later he had an offer for $58,000 plus bonuses. That's $33,000 more in year one.
Whoever cares less wins. A good offer is one you can walk away from.
Stage one · Before you apply
Know what you want first.
If you value family and hate travel, don't apply to a job on the road four days a week. Rank what matters before a recruiter's pitch ranks it for you. Keep the list. You'll need it when offers come in.
Pick up to 6
What actually matters to you?
Loaded with an example list from the book. Tap a value to add or drop it.
Score each 1–10
Your filter
Stage two · The resume
Every bullet is a win you can talk about.
One page. No photo. Tailored to each job. Every bullet is an achievement you can tell a story about, with a number in it. Say "I," not "we." They're hiring you, not your old team.
Bullet grader
Paste one bullet. Get a score.
Score
0/5Stage three · Getting in the door
Found the job? Don't apply yet.
Big companies run every application through an applicant tracking system (ATS) that filters on keywords you'll never see. A referral skips the filter and puts you on the short list. You don't need connections to get one. You need one good message to a stranger.
applications Google gets a year. About 0.2% get hired. (CNBC, 2019)
of new hires came from referrals at one Fortune 500 company, per its recruiter. One company, not an industry average.
referral bonus many companies pay the employee who refers you. Helping you can pay them.
Pick the target
You want an Account Executive job at Stryker. You know nobody there. Who do you message?
Message builder
The four-sentence ask
Why it works: it admits you're a stranger, says exactly why you're writing, fits this person and company, and gives them an easy way to say no. People remember being a student.
When they say yes · 15–30 minutes
Run the call like this
- Thank themThey're doing you a favor.
- AgendaSay what you'll cover.
- BackgroundUnder two minutes.
- QuestionsHow is success measured?
- The askDon't hang up without it.
- Thank themLeave the door open.
Don't ask what they make. If they say yes, ask how the referral works before you apply. Some companies send a private link.
Stage four · The interview
Every question is one of three questions.
Expect three to six rounds: recruiter, hiring manager, a peer, then a panel or a senior leader. Sales roles usually end with a role play. Every round is trying to answer the same three things.
Question 1
Do they like you?Question 2
Can you do the job?Question 3
Will you fit the team?Round one · the recruiter asks
"What are your salary expectations?"
Answer with a question. Name a number first and they'll hold you to it. Most recruiters will share the range. If they won't, try: "I don't feel comfortable sharing a number without understanding the rest of the package. If you can share what people in this role typically earn, we can see if we're aligned."
Expect silence. Let it sit. And if they won't be open about pay, ask yourself what else they won't be open about.
Behavioral questions · STAR
Build one story that answers three questions
Prep your best 3–5 stories, not 50 answers. One strong story can answer "above and beyond," "changed someone's mind," and "outside the box."
Never trash your old boss · tap to translate
How you feel vs. what you say
Stage five · "Any questions for me?"
Never say "I think you covered it."
Having no questions is the biggest mistake new candidates make. Bring a list. Then watch the clock, because the most important question is the last one, and you have to save time for it.
Manage the clock
Times are rough. Five minutes or twenty, the closer always goes last.
The closer
Ask this every time
If they name a concern, answer it on the spot. If they say you're moving on, try to book the next round before you hang up.
Don't ask it like this
Stage six · The offer
Read the whole offer, not the salary.
Salary is one line. Bonus, commission, 401k match, stock plans and travel money can add thousands, or turn out to be smoke. Price every line, then check it against your values from stage one.
Offer decoder · example: entry sales role
Default is ~43%, the average quota attainment RepVue reports. Directional, not a promise. Example base and commission match RepVue's SDR medians ($60K base, $85K OTE).
Stock plan and travel
ESPP lets you buy company stock at a discount; the line shows only the discount's value if you sell right away. Per diem uses the book's example rates ($18 breakfast, $20 lunch, $36 dinner = $74/day) and assumes you eat cheap and keep most of it. Check each company's real policy.
Honest year one
OTE (on-target earnings) is base plus commission if you hit 100% of quota. It's a best case, not a salary.
Two offers? Negotiate with the one you want
The one-message negotiation
- Say you love the company. It's true, so say it.
- Name the real competing number.
- Give them a target and a reason to move fast.
- If they meet you, sign. Don't go back for round two.
Only use this with a real offer in hand. It works best at smaller companies. The worst they'll usually do is say no.
Stage seven · What happens next
Lose well. Start fast.
Some of these end in a no. One ends in a job. Either way, there's a right next move.
Send this anyway. Sad, mad, whatever.
The thank-you after a no
Why it might not have worked out
- Someone had more relevant experience.
- Someone clicked better with the team.
- They promoted from inside.
- Sales dipped and they froze hiring.
- They'd already made an offer before you got far.
None of these are about your worth. Facebook turned down Brian Acton in 2009. He co-founded WhatsApp and sold it to Facebook for $19 billion.
First weeks · check them off
Make the first impression stick
Before you quit, ask yourself
- Did I give it enough time?
- Can it get better?
- Am I sleeping, eating right, and exercising?
- Am I the only one who feels this way?
- How can I improve, or reframe it?
If you still need to go
Cut yourself some slack.
You spent maybe 45 minutes with your boss before you took the job. Nobody can predict how someone acts on a bad Tuesday from that. The process isn't broken. You just learned what you don't want.
Keep your head up and keep moving.
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This is the short version
The full rulebook is 20 chapters.
The book covers every stage here in more depth: how businesses are built, where you fit, reading a 10-K before an interview, RSUs, health plans, sales accelerators, and more example scripts. Written by an enterprise sales rep who started with a blank resume and no connections.
For your chapter · $25 through Oct 31
Run this as live chapter meetings
The Chapter Career Kit turns these rules into self-run meetings your VP of Education can lead. Founding chapters get the full Kit for $25, one time, through October 31. The standard license is $497 a year.
Get the Kit for $25 See what's insideThe book: The Unwritten Rules of Job Searching, on Amazon.